Through the fifteen times
by TheCatInTheShadows
Summary: The Battle of the Five Armies is over. Where is our heroes? Where's Bilbo? Whump, post BotFA, fix-it, AU.
1. Bilbo

**Through the fifteen times**

He walked through the smoke and reek, following the tiny wind what blow through the valley.

He walked, not looking anyone who passed him, his gaze on the ground.

He kept his hands hide, covering his wounds.

Only thing what he could think was the though of Thorin and the Company.

Were they alive?

Any of them?

It was getting dark but whole east side of the battlefield was in fire. He stopped to look the flames.

He was getting tired and before he knew he was kneeling on the ground, vomiting and he closed his eyes, knowing that in the morning there would be left only bits and pieces from him. He wished that it wouldn't be anyone of the Company who would find him, if anyone could find him from middle of the dead.

He though how much he whished to hear their laugh again.

He though how much he whished to be at home his hands deep in the soil and hear the song of birds on near tree where he used to climb when he was younger.

How much he hoped that he would be happy again.

That it would last forever.

But now he had learned what the freedom was, he had fought behalf of the peace.

He knew that he had made right choice when he had followed his friends.

They had home now.

It was worth of dying.

He never felt how he hit the ground.

He never felt how the strong arms picked him up and carried him away.


	2. Thorin

His eyes followed the crow how it flied over the battlefield and he was sure that he could hear its screech over everything else.

Or maybe it was the eagle.

Deep breathe made him cough and he looked the hand over his wound. It was deep, fatal, but he was still standing and he couldn't see his Company or any familiar dwarf around him. Though he noticed that he was not the only lonely one who seemed to be so lost. Everyone was looking someone.

Finally his eyes found the white orc's dead body and then he remembered and it was like he had been stabbed again.

He had seen them fall.

Fili.

And Kili.

His nephews.

It hit deep in his soul and he let out a loud roar full of pain and despair before he sank on his knees, realizing that he had drifted away after seeing their fall. He had given up to his rage and sorrow, hunted down his mortal enemy one last time.

First time the wound hurt and his other hand groped support from the earth and he sobbed.

It was right, he would follow them soon and he let out bitter laugh, but then he frowned. Before him was Erebor, his kingdom, home of Durin's folks, his peoples. Full of gold, full of silver and oh so rare mithril. There were diamonds and other jewels beyond anyone's imagination.

_There can't be anything more beautiful, can there?_

But because of that and that cursed stone he had lost them, lost everything.

He had lost his family.

Who knew how many of the Company was still alive.

And Halfling.

Bilbo.

Surely Bilbo was safe. Surely Tharkûn had kept the hobbit away, send him safe. Back to the Shire, to those green hills and valleys where he belonged. Suddenly he realized how much he still wanted to see their burglar. How much he wanted to apologize everything what he had done.

Bilbo had been right.

Bilbo had done right.

And Bilbo…

Bilbo was stubborn and he would do everything to help his friend, anything, despite the fact that Thorin was almost killed him. But… sometimes others are made to live.

"By Mahal, let him be safe. If he's dead… If I have lost him too…" he murmured, looking again the sky.

The sun was setting.

Every voice around him was just melting away.

_There can't be anything more beautiful, can there?_

He sighed.

"Let me see him one more time. Let me have one more day. Let me have tomorrow. Then you can have me and I can't remember this longing anymore. After I have seen him, my life is yours once again, but let me first to apologize. Let him bee safe." He whispered his prayer to his maker.

#

_Yay, back at home, finally. And lot of notes with me, now I just have to find time to write more._

_**Uh-huh, Thilbo? Yes? No?**_


	3. Kili

Where was Fili? He couldn't find his brother from where he was kneeling.

The arrow on his back made his breathing harder. He was afraid to close his eyes because he wasn't sure that he would open them again.

And he just had to find Fili.

Briefly he though about the whole journey to Erebor and he couldn't say but he was tired. Maybe their mother had been right, maybe he had been too young to leave and follow his brother and uncle, but he couldn't even think that he would be left behind and not know what was happening to his family.

His brother.

He looked anxiously towards the East, his heartbeats slowly escaping from him.

He smiled when remembered how Fili was once carried him on his back when he had broken his leg during the hunting trip. It was fond memory, they had been so young then and somehow he had known that he would always trust his brother.

He tried to move, to get up, but he almost fell over. The arrow moved again and made him cry out aloud and sob in pain.

"Fili, if you don't come soon, I don't think you can find me when the morning comes. " He whispered, his hands searching support from the bloodied ground.

He remembered those days when other's usually teased him because he was so different, but Fili was always there, supporting him, saying how much he was like their father, how good it was that he was carrying their father's legacy.

It burned when he cried. It burned all around. It was like the air around him was in flames. He wanted to be somewhere where was cold and peaceful. And not feel the pain.

Not to feel how his time was closing up.

"KILI!"

He welcomed the mirage, smiled up to his brother and closed his eyes.

"Fili…"

#

_So, no Thilbo. Sorry folks._


	4. Nori

Last time when he had believed in miracles, he had been child.

He though that he had seen her, standing there like a calm island middle of the stormy sea.

Like always, her presence had calmed him down, made him more efficient.

Now, after the battle, he thanked his Maker that he had sent her there. Thanked her to be still there with him.

At the beginning of their journey he had already lost his hope, his thoughts were only that he should protect his brothers what ever it would take from him. Not matter the price, because he had already paid it. When he had returned to Ered Luin to just hear that she had gone, buried deep in the mountain, that he would never again see her, part of him had broken.

For months he had been like a wrecked ship adrift with too many valuable stuff which he didn't do anything, not when she wasn't there anymore.

Then Dori had mentioned Thorin's idea to conquer the Erebor back against the all odds.

What a bet!

The last final quest and he would be with her again with all glory because surely against the dragon what would be the chance of survival?

And he would get Dwalin out of his neck too.

Though he never expected Ori to join them! Damn little rascal. Damn little brother had actually saved him with Dwalin's axe! Same axe which Dwalin had threatened to cut his hands off if he wouldn't play nicely all the way. Because they actually needed his skills.

She would have laughed for that!

He looked up the sky.

"You know my love, you're heaven inside me. You surely are. Now I know that you haven't left me behind, that you will stay there, inside of me forever. Protecting me like always. Thank you."

He laughed and looked around.

Alright, he had to find Ori and Dori.


	5. Gloin

He couldn't believe it!

He refused to believe it!

He, Gloin, son of Groin had fought back against back with ELF!

Elf who obviously was that tree-hugging king's SON!

Elf _who had saved his life_!

"Thank you." He grunted his thanks.

Elf looked at him and actually smiled. _Smiled!_ Had he ever seen elf smile? NO!

"My thanks to you." The elf bowed, "I hope you better time after this. We have won."

They looked around.

"But what's the price." Gloin murmured and sighed. He saw Oin kneeling beside someone, trying to help. Old healer on his job, although he was still good fighter too. Still alive.

"Thank Mahal my son wasn't here today to see this."

The elf beside him seemed to actually wiggle a bit and Gloin frowned. "Oh, I remember what did you said then."

"No doubt, and I'm sorry." The elf suddenly relaxed, his hold on his swords loosening some.

"Bit out dated picture though."

"Sure."

"Insulting again?"

"No sir, no." The elf grinned, but then he looked away, his eyes searching. "I have to go."

"Then you go elf."

The elf's eyes snapped fast back at him. "I mean it. Thank you. You saved my life."

"You saved my. This is war and we are allies. Now go, no doubt you are worried about your father." He could understand that. Family was always family, what ever race you were.

The elf nodded and was soon gone.

He looked after him long after he was gone out of his sigh.

"Gloin, care to help me or have you something better to do?" Oin called and Gloin shook himself off from the strange feeling that came upon him when watching for the last time the elf in the eyes. He hoped that he had seen him for the last time, but somehow he doubted it.

He wished luck to the elf who strangely reminded him of his son. He had seen the same fire in this elf, the same that burned inside Gimli.

"Coming brother, who are you trying to kill now?"


	6. Bifur

He had never though that he would home again after the battle of Azalnubizar, not when he had gained the axe in his head.

He had survived then, after many losses, though it had chanced his life so many ways. Following his king to meet his cousins at Ered Luin, he had been broken thing before learning to do different kind of things.

He had learned to appreciate the little things. He had learned to appreciate life. He had learned that everything didn't revolved around the death and the glory. He had learned humility.

He had learned to look beyond the surface. He had learned patience and that is why he so often saw and heard things that went past the other.

On the way to Erebor he had learned every ones strengths and weaknesses and had been surprised in many ways.

He learned that he wasn't the only one who was broken. Some where more lost than Thorin never would be.

When he had entered to fight with his companions against the superior enemy (so they though then, although no one had said it aloud, no) he had been ready to die because he had come to his home.

It was like his head and heart were come whole again.

He had been ready to do anything to keep his home this time.

Sitting there, holding his cousin's hand when Bombur tried to stop the bleeding, he felt himself useless again.

Had he watch again how his only remaining family was falling apart and dying?

Worthy of the gold lust what they all had felt?

He remembered how they all had stood against Bilbo, the only sane person among them, strongest them all, and Bifur just knew, he had learned that about Bilbo Baggins, that the Halfling was there, middle of the battle field.

He would never abandon them like they have abandoned him.

Was his home worthy of this all?

Could they face each others after this?

Would they survive through the shame?

Friendship.

Family.

"He'll live. He must." He grunted and Bombur nodded.

It was something what he had learned.

That there was always hope.

That there was always love.


	7. Fili

He held his brother, crying, whispering in his ear.

"You can do it Kili, you can. You always do, you always try, day after day even if I know that you are just showing off again.

How brave you're trying to be.

Don't you see?

You don't have to.

You don't have to be brave because of me, or uncle, or mum, or father. Just be yourself like always and I'm there. We all are.

I do anything for you, anything, so don't you dare and die now. I'm here, I promise, I stay with you. I'm here, every day, day after day, when you are tired, I stay.

Even when you make me cry like now.

You give so much to us and you never learn, never realize how much you mean us. You don't have to show of.

You-don't-have-to-_die_ because of us!

Stay with me Kili.

Stay…

Please…

Because I can't be here without you."

So stay.

Live.

Please…"


	8. Dwalin

He had been blind, holding everything behind of him, trying to forget all of it, imagining that tomorrow it all wouldn't be front of him just the same.

But now he was holding his friend in his arms, carrying him through the battlefield, the wound still bleeding. He himself hadn't gained but some broken ribs and small wound on his left arm through the fragmented armor.

It hurt to think. It was sore point inside of him. He refused to speak of it. He refused to look around it and face the truth.

The truth that his friend was going to die.

His King was dying.

He had failed to protect his friend, his king.

How many steps it would take before he would be in that hastily raised camp outside the Gate? Could he find anyone who would save his king? Would it be too late? If he was already dead?

He couldn't look Thorin.

He refused to even think that Thorin has died in his arms.

Never.

So he walked forward.

Saw Bifur who carried Bofur with Bombur.

There was Gloin yelling something, so Oin was there too. Then he saw Fili, crying, howling, Dori keeping him in tight hug and Dwalin just knew who was the dwarf Oin was treading.

It broke his heart to know that youngest of them was also dying.

Was that Nori, sitting on the ground, looking someone?

Ori.

Was he dead?

The young scribe didn't move and Nori's face was unmoving mask.

Why they let him come? Why Thorin let them come? Why?

Why?

Question he didn't want answers.

It was too late for that.

Too late to dwell on the past.

They could only learn not to repeat their mistakes.

And where was his brother, that unmoving force behind the crown? Like everyone else, they had gotten separated during the battle. Where was that only who could speak the truth and see the truth when everyone else were fighting against the waves?

Someone called him.

Someone yelled Thorin's name.

Dain Ironfoot was there, running toward them with elf.

Why was he there now?

Why?

Dwalin looked down but he couldn't say was Thorin still alive.


	9. Dori

He was exhausted beyond everything, lived through the battle to the next morning to see the sun rise. Now everything was settled. There was only languor left when he sat beside his brothers and only thing what he could think how peaceful it was.

They had won. It was better what he had though. They had only day ago blamed each others and now, there they were, working together, side by side. It was big miracle. How long that would last? He truly hoped that it _would_ last. He was tired to fight.

He set up Ori's head in his lap, stroking dirty hair and smiled as her little brother finally narrowed his eyes.

"Dori?"

"Who else?"

"Nori?"

"Right here little brother. You gave us a scare for a while.

"Sorry."

"Never be." He hummed, watching how the dust of the battle flow slowly down. Someone was singing a sad song for the dead and missed. It echoed through the valley and there was other who joined it. Also Nori raised his chin and started to sing.

He hadn't heard that in long long time and he realized how much he had missed Nori's voice. Ori was sleeping again.

Maybe he would finally let him go, his precious little brother. He had proven to be able to take care of himself, not being child anymore.

"New life." He whispered but remembered then that Kili and Thorin were their dead bed and Bofur had also wounded badly. Then one though hit him hard.

"Where's Bilbo?"

Nori stopped singing.

#

_Originally I though to tell this story through the Company, but maybe I in the end ad some more. But who? Anyone who you though to be there?_


	10. Oin

Sure, he was half deaf and maybe too old to go war, but he was fighting for his home and for those who were his friends. He would never leave them.

And now he was fighting for the life of Thorin Oakenshield and his nephew Kili, because they were dying. Elf healer with him looked calm, but he could just sense how he was despair to save a life. Finally there was nothing what they could do but wait. He thanked the elf who bowed and promised to come back soon and then was gone.

"How are they?" Dain, who was still there asked and Oin shrugged and checked Fili who he had to put to sleep. There were wounds, but they were now cleaned and they would heal fine.

"We see if they survive through the next night. Any more news from the Company?"

"Ori and Bofur were wounded. Ori woke up, Bofur I do not know. And Nori, Dwalin and Bifur with some man and elf left to find Master Baggins."

"So he was there?" Oin couldn't but smile, thinking their friend. "We did wrong by him Dain."

"I know. I have heard the story and spoken with Master Baggins before the battle." Dain looked over Thorin. "He should have seen it to coming, the gold sickness."

"Aye, but we all lost our sigh back then. I hope he's alive."

"We all hope so. Leave, I see that you want to check your friend yourself."

"Wise man, you are my lad." Oin patted his shoulder and left. Balin was next who he saw.

"Seen my idiot brother?"

Oin looked back at the field.

"What I heard went to find our burglar."

"I see."

"Any wounds my friend?" Oin eyed him through and Balin shook his head.

"Scratches, nothing more. Is Dain…?

"With the royals."

"And?"

"Fili will survive but I don't guarantee about those two other."

"When you have news, and my brother…"

"I let you know, sure, go rest now."

Balin disappeared to the tent and Oin walked through the camp, through the men, the elves and the dwarves. He found the small group, Bombur cooking like always, and Oin kneeled beside Bofur.

"He'll be fine." Gloin sighed and Oin nodded, finally just sitting down, leaning toward his brother.

"Too old to this shit." He muttered and Gloin laughed.

"So you say. How are they?"

"Not good. I have to go back soon. Heard that Dwalin went searching the Halfling."

"With Bard and Legolas. But if he's wearing his ring…"

"They find him." Oin muttered, his eyelids growing heavy.

"Yes, they will. Sleep now my brother."

He slept and didn't saw any dreams.


	11. Bofur

"How bad it is?" He asked, not sure he wanted to know. He couldn't feel anything but coldness and the sun was already high on the sky.

"Not so bad. You lost some blood. I was able to stop the bleeding in time. Here, try to drink. Slowly." Bombur helped the cup on his lips and drink the water.

"Bifur?"

"He's fine, better than you and me."

He remembered something.

He remembered the tiny shape of one certain hobbit, flickering through the battlefield.

"Where's Bilbo?"

He asked finally, not remembering how many times he had asked the same question during their travel.

"We do not know." Bombur answered giving him some hot soup. It warmed him bit. "Bifur went with some others to find him."

"Saw him, during the battle. He was on the Ravenrocks with elves when I first noticed. Then… He moved fast… He used his ring. I hope they can find him."

Bombur looked over him the valley.

"Beorn is coming."

He turned to look although it made him dizzy. What he saw made his breath stop for a moment and Bombur's hand landed on his shoulder.

The figure in the shape-sifter's arms was tiny, smaller than dwarf. Beorn walked slowly, he had gained some serious looking wounds and his eyes drifted always back to his pack.

Bombur hold his brother easily when he tried to rise.

"No Bofur, lay down, you can't do anything." Bombur's voice was resigned.

"He… he can't be…"

"We do not know that. Oh, there is Oin. And Gandalf with Thranduil."

They looked how Gandalf lifted the hobbit from Beorn and started to run toward the tents.

"Alive then." He sighed and Bombur nodded, smiling. "Always surprising us, isn't he."

"Ay. Don't want to loose him now."

Bombur was silent bit longer looking the small chaos of the camp around them.

"I almost lost you."

"Ay. Sorry about that."

"You truly scared me this time."

"Scared myself too."

"Don't do that again."

"Can't promise."

"No, no you can't."Bombur sighed and offered the cup again. "Oin's drug's. Help you sleep some more."

"Not want to sleep."

He drank it anyway. It smelled, like all Oin's medicines, disgusting.

"I'm sure he does this in purpose." He felt sick.

"Of course he does."

"And the others? Thorin?"

"We know more tomorrow, if they survive over the next night. But, right now, they are all alive."

"Good. Maybe I sleep. I want to see Bilbo. Good friend. I want to apologize."

"Me too."

"Brother… Thank you. Do you, regret, all of this? What happened?"

Bombur looked at him looking very serious. "Do you?"

He frowned.

"No."

"Me either."

"I got some good laugh."

"You always laugh."

"I got good friends."

"We all did."

"I went to war, with you."

"Yes, and I don't want to do that anymore, hear me."

"Alright. No wars anymore. Promise."

"Promise."

"Sleepy."

"Then sleep."

He slept.


End file.
